Birth, Death and In-between

This weekend, reality bit me in the behind.

The road down which I walk is a lonely one, and I am alone.  No hankies required; I am surrounded by family who love me, generous friends and caring medical practitioners.

Anyone who has watched a loved one disintegrate an inch at a time will confirm this, you are alone in the moment the realization their end is within sight gets through the layers of denial and hits home. No hope for a miracle cure, no hope for an extension of time remains, no hope for a rally.

The disease and drugs or treatment has robbed its victim of all that made them unique. The weakened body does not listen to commands; it’s using all its energy to keep the heart beating.

I think at this point in time it is important to remember the good times and the bad, the years of friendship, the laughter and the tears which forged the bonds between you.  Memories of why your loved one’s final, declining days deliver such a blow to the heart. It’s the difficulty of acknowledging to yourself, this person has no choice in letting go physically, but you will hold on tightly in your heart.