I recently attended the funeral of my husband’s life-long friend’s wife. It was my fear that this would bring back negative emotions from my husband’s passing less than a year ago. It did bring emotions, but not in the way I expected.
Admittedly, the past few years have been difficult watching my soulmate succumb to a deadly disease. My friend reminded me of myself in his reactions at the funeral. The difference this time, is that he was the one in shock and grief, not me.
The truth is that life events in the past ten months have changed me. The bold self-confidence acquired over the past forty-one years with my intrepid backup has wavered somewhat flying solo. I no longer live in the same city. My family here has been my lifeline, for which I am most grateful.
How does this have anything to do with the funeral? One of the challenges I faced was my seeming inability to reach inside and write, even though the words were there. Editing and polishing what was already written was as far as seemed possible.
One of my author friends advised I was going to have to get used to a “new normal” and she was right. What this funeral did, was drive home the point that each day is to be lived fully and embraced. It was as if the dam of paralysis burst and allowed a free flow again.
In my funk, I have woefully neglected my website for many months, which is no longer the case. The Amity is now with my editor, the covers for the Genetrix Trilogy are fine tuned, and the artwork for The Amity trailer are almost complete.
This is me, embracing each day to come.
This photo was taken by our friend, Gary Billmark, on one of their trips to Hawaii, a favourite place. Rest in peace Judy.